Let me preface this post/series by saying that I've been wanting to write down the events surrounding "the accident" along with my thoughts, feelings, lessons I've learned and how I feel more than five years after for a while now, but am finally feeling like now is the right time. It has taken me many years to feel comfortable sharing this ordeal, but stories like this must be shared. If I help or encourage one person, it will be all worth it to me. I wish I had thought to keep a blog as I lived through these events in real-time, but alas, this will have to do. This blog is a record of my life and feelings, so I want to be sure I can look back on these years and not feel like I've forgotten the details. I do not want people to pity me. My life is so wonderful and filled to the brim with happiness.
December 22, 2009. The fall semester of my junior year at Lehigh University had just ended. I was home in Niskayuna, NY, and would be there for the next month. I was excited to decompress and was very much looking forward to the holidays. The feelings that swirl around during Christmas are some of my favorite. I adore the traditions, and details, and sweets, and spirit of giving.
During the fall semester of 2009, I noticed that I was straining to see the board during classes, so I made an eye doctor appointment at the office where my mom, dad and youngest sister had gone several times before. Quite honestly, I remember feeling excited that this appointment might result in my being able to see. Imagine that!
My appointment was on December 22, 2009 around 12:30 pm. That morning I woke up, went to the gym, came home to shower, had leftover soup with some grilled cheese, and drove to the doctor's office. The office is in a large shopping plaza and it was somewhere I had been dozens of times before. I made sure that I had sunglasses in my car for after the appointment should my eyes be sensitive from being dilated. I had talked to my mom about what to expect during the appointment. I was ready.
My appointment was on December 22, 2009 around 12:30 pm. That morning I woke up, went to the gym, came home to shower, had leftover soup with some grilled cheese, and drove to the doctor's office. The office is in a large shopping plaza and it was somewhere I had been dozens of times before. I made sure that I had sunglasses in my car for after the appointment should my eyes be sensitive from being dilated. I had talked to my mom about what to expect during the appointment. I was ready.
I parked my car, walked inside, and spoke with the woman at the front desk. She asked for my name, insurance card, and photo ID. I was asked to fill out a bunch of forms since I was a new patient, and then I waited for the nurse to call me back. I vividly remember looking at a magazine and reading a recipe for a salad that sounded good. It felt like I waited for about 10 minutes and then was called back for the "puff test," to test for glaucoma. The nurse ushered me to a small waiting area outside of the exam room with just a few chairs, and told me I could wait there until I was called in. Keep in mind, thus far, I had not seen any other patients at the office. Since this was before the time that I had a smartphone, I looked around at the wall decor and tried to be patient. At this point, I felt good.
The doctor finally came out and said that I could join her in the exam room. When I walked in, the first thing I thought was that the apparatus looked like something from a scary movie. I let that thought go from my mind, and let myself feel at ease, and that I was in control of the situation.
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